Peter Pan, Interfaith Role Model

I don’t know when it happened.

Five years ago I didn’t know a Muslim, hadn’t a clue about Muhammed, the Qur’an, or head coverings. I didn’t have Muslim friends, didn’t know about mosques, daily prayers, Ramadan, or the Hajj.

You could even say, I didn’t know I didn’t know.

And now I do.

How do we go from not knowing—even cluelessness—to knowing?

All my life I’ve had Christian friends. I’ve known about Jesus, rosary beads, eating (or not eating) meat on Friday, and the ordination (or not) of women.

My Christian friendships came about spontaneously—not through religious settings. I didn’t know Christians religiously.

I knew Christians because we went to school together. Sure, when my friends left class early, I learned about Good Friday, and when they showed up in school with a smudge on their foreheads, I learned about Ash Wednesday. But mostly I learned about Christians playing dodge ball, borrowing notes for a Chemistry test, or talking about boys.

I learned about Christians while I was learning about myself. I learned about Christians while I was growing up.

So now that I’m older, and recess is a distant memory, how did I come to know Muslims?

Well, the start of that journey was a graduate paper on the philanthropic practices of Islam and Judaism. I don’t know what prompted me to choose that topic. I had no experience with Muslims. No interest in Islam. I could just as easily have written about Andrew Carnegie or volunteer management. But I didn’t.

My research required I find Muslims. And, once I found them, I talked with them. Well, in truth, I interviewed them, which is different than talking with them. But it was a start.

And then I kept the relationships going. A little bit at first. And then a little more. And somewhere in between five years ago and now, I came to know Muslims.

There was no week when, say, one day I didn’t know and the next day I did. It happened the same way I came to know Christians, but without the swing sets. It happened in the everyday, Dick and Jane process of growing up.

My Muslim friendships came about organically, not religiously, through normal life events, like writing a term paper.

Sure, when my friends decline a morning biscuit, I learn about Ramadan, and when they excuse themselves from a mid-day gathering, I learn about afternoon prayer.  And, yes, we regularly share our faith traditions with each other. But mostly I came to know Muslims when swapping stories about our families, exchanging professional best practices, or carrying on about the latest and greatest dime store mascara.

Growing up is a continual process that’s highly overrated.

Keep the faith. It’s never too late to not grow up.